I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
