omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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