You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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