areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
