we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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