She's JV to your varsity
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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