why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
