I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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