It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
