capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
