My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
