I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
