so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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