she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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