Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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