You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
