i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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