at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
