I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
