hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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