Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
