i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
