Barsexuality is the new black.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
