it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
