Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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