Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
