Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
