I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my being single is dangerous.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
