just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
