My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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