I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
