I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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