Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
