so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
