At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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