I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
