Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
