Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
