I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
