It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
