one two three fourrrrnication!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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