why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
