So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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