i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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