that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
