U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
