I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
