He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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