the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
