I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
