Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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