My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
